Ms. Lonely

I can't believe how pathetic I've become. I mean c'mon! Looking for love in a peer to peer file sharing system (a.k.a bearshare)? That's just damn low.

While it is true that desperation does bring out the worst of us, what I did is so unbelievably pathetic and incredibly stupid. I never cease to amaze myself. *sarcasm*

I've even reduced myself to joining online dating sites and 3D chats though I didn't pursue them further for fear of losing my sanity. I've even gone as far as advertising in friendster. Now what kind of sick and demented psycho would that? Obviously me.

And it's only now that I have realized the monumental stupidity of everything that I've done. But then, there's always a reason behind everything that I do. And it suddenly dawned upon me why I was so desperate to find a boyfriend.

I felt alone and I wanted some sort of companionship.

And the only way that would happen, I believed, is through a boyfriend.

I've been miserable here, with no one else but my laptop to accompany me through my loneliest days. That's probably why I went to a frenzied search for a boyfriend... for a companion. Compared when I was in the Philippines. I needed no boyfriend. I felt that such things were too trivial for me. After all, I have many friends who can compensate for a boyfriend. But now... I dont have any friends...and well... you get the logic...

I'm just a lonely soul who have sunken really low to be this desperate. Who can blame me, right?